A couple of important things to know before you get started

Hey there, Mama, I'm Misty Dosio. I want to share a couple of things with you before you dive in to help your journey go a bit more smoothly. 

The Patient Mom Project (PMP) is a compilation of the work God is still doing in me and in my home. I'm not an expert by any means; I'm just a mom who wants to steward motherhood for God's glory, the good of my children, and the joy of my heart. If that's you too, you're in the right place.

The PMP envelopes the gospel-powered truths, research-backed insights, and practical strategies God taught me that facilitated the metamorphosis to less anger and more patience in my heart and home, and though I wasn't thrilled about being vulnerable and sharing my struggles, God made it clear to me that other moms who love Jesus and their kids also struggled with impatience and could use a succinct, daily reminder of Scriptural truths that would guide them to not only grow in patience, but also experience more of His peace, joy, and strength in their motherhood. That's what The PMP is all about.  

The full 30 day PMP program includes a daily devotional (ebook or print book), a habit tracker and logbook to help you manage what you monitor, 4 video teaching sessions, audiobook, downloads, and more. But because I knew I was talking to busy moms like myself, I wanted to provide a a free preview of the full 30-day program - a  7-day Introduction to The PMP. It's a way of letting you dip your toes in and become acquainted with The PMP process. 

The Patient Mom Project (full 30-day program) is structured around an A-B-C-D framework. In week 1, you’ll focus on A - abiding in Christ. This is the foundation for all true transformation and makes The Patient Mom Project unique.  Many parenting programs focus on tricks and hacks to get kids to behave; the Patient Mom Project is not a behavior modification program. It is a framework for transformational growth, a guide for mothers who want real, gospel-powered change in their heart - not a fake it til you make it parenting strategy, but an intentional 30 day focus on how the gospel transforms and guides us in motherhood.

 In week 2, we move to B- building spiritual strength. This is one of my favorite sections because the gospel-powered strategies we uncover are applicable in so many areas of life, including how we mother.  You’ll discover the strength and dignity God gives you as a mother and how to practically put on that strength in the most challenging parenting moments. 

In week 3, we dig deep to -C- confront the common causes of impatience. Although we all have individual propensities and circumstances, there are some underlying common denominators that tend to lead us down the destructive path of lashing out in anger.  Uncovering the unseen causes of impatience helps us deal with those feelings in an emotionally and spiritually healthy way.

And in week 4, you will -D- develop gospel-powered responses to replace impatient, harsh, or angry reactions towards your child. This is where the rubber meets the road. Real-time, gospel-powered, research-backed tools you can use every day.

Since this is a 7-day Intro, I've given you 7 days of completely unique devotions - structured in the same way as the full program - to give you a sort of Cliff's notes version of the whole program. You'll get a high-level, but intensely practical overview in just these 7 daily devotionals. These are FREEBIES! No need to commit or even submit your payment information. When you're finished with these 7 days, you can decide if God is calling you to set aside 30 days to intentionally focus more on growing gospel-powered patience, peace, and joy in motherhood through the full Patient Mom Project program. 

I can't wait to hear from you, so please jump in on the Mom Wisdom app to join the community of mothers from around the world who are also on their own patient mom journey! It's incredible to have a team to join you as you progress in your journey.

So, if you're ready, let's do this! Check out Day 1 of the Intro to The PMP below, and then, if you want to receive the remaining 6 days, simply sign up to receive an email a day or better yet - download the Mom Wisdom app and click on "Introduction to The PMP" to finish this FREE week of devotionals that are sure to help you grow in gospel-powered motherhood!

Day 1

The Patient Mom Project Introduction

Stewarding Motherhood for God’s Glory & Our Good

Abide

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.”

Proverbs 31:25-26 (NLT)

Several years ago, after my second child was born, I had the unfortunate realization that I was not the patient, peaceful, joyful mother I wanted to be. If you are a parent, you may have come to a similar conclusion the first few times a kid’s Lego found its way into your path, and you unleashed anger so intense, you questioned your own sanity. I’ve been there too.

 We all experience mounting pressure from anger and impatience in motherhood. Whether it comes from kids leaving toys on the ground, spilling milk at the breakfast table, or disrespecting us after we’ve spent an entire day walking around an overcrowded amusement park, our anger triggers have a way of causing us to say and do things we never thought we would.

 If you’re reading this, my guess is you are a parent who wants more patience and less anger. Maybe you don’t know how to be more patient. What does that even really mean? 

Patience is a hard concept to explain. Perhaps you’ve tried. When your kids have a meltdown in the grocery store, you feel patient because you don’t yell back…until you get to the car. Or when your teen disrespects you, you yell at them, but you don’t say the swear word you were thinking. Maybe it feels patient for you to tell your tween son to take out the trash three times before you start criticizing him.

 We all experience countless circumstances in parenthood that need our patience and each situation is different. It is hard to define patience because most of us think it is a feeling and feelings feel different for different people. 

 In law school, one of my professors had us study a famous Supreme Court case from the 1960s in which one of the justices was tasked with defining obscenity. This was pre-internet of course, so doing a web search for a definition was not an option, and, clearly, he felt uncomfortable with the topic. Instead of defining it, he explained it this way: “I know when I see it.” Hmm. Thank you, Judge. Leave it to a lawyer to be sufficiently vague. 

 When I first realized I was struggling with impatience, I felt a little like the good judge. Trying to define for myself what patience means in real life was challenging. I relied on my feelings to determine whether I was being patient in a particular experience. 

 Of course, now I can just ask Siri to give me a quick definition. Her response: patience is “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”. (New Oxford American Dictionary). But this definition is still lacking. When I’m in the middle of a parenting struggle, what does accepting and tolerating look like practically and is it even helpful or possible to not get upset? 

 I tried hard to tolerate, tolerate, tolerate, and accept my children’s behavior without getting angry or upset, as Siri explains it, but eventually, I always snapped and by eventually, I mean after tolerating for what seemed like an eternity but was probably more like a few minutes. I yelled or spoke condescendingly or doled out a harsh punishment in the hopes that my child would forever stop their annoying behavior so I could have some peace. My actions showed my subconscious belief - if I just let out some of that anger, I would feel better and my child would act better. 

 But of course, that didn’t happen. Expressing my anger in a sinful way did not help me feel better or make my children act better. Sure, maybe outbursts of anger make our children scared enough so that they learn how to avoid our outbursts. Maybe, at least for a little while, we can frighten them into doing things our way.  But that’s not the kind of relationship I want with my child, and I’m guessing you don’t either. 

 So if tolerating and accepting aren’t working for you, let’s look at what the Bible has to say about this nebulous concept of patience. In my own journey to become a more patient mom, the Lord led me to a couple of verses in Proverbs that gave language to the desires I had for motherhood. This is what they say: 

 “She is clothed in dignity and strength. She laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness.”

I knew when I saw it. These verses describe practically what it means to be a patient, gospel-powered mother. See, we often define patience by our feelings- do I feel like I’m tolerating my child right now? But the problem with defining righteousness by our feelings is that our pride always puts us on the winning side and our enemy, the devil, always shames us as losers. 

Righteousness- a right standing with God- is defined by our relationship with God not by whether we feel right. So if I really want to be patient, I have to define patience according to God’s standard and not just by how I feel. 

In these verses, I found observable, external evidence of an internal anchor. I no longer wanted to be a fickle mother whose peace and joy depended on her kids’ behavior that day. I wanted to be a spiritually strong mom who acted with dignity and treated her kids with dignity. I didn’t want to just ‘tolerate and accept’ my kids, as Siri prescribed. I wanted to enjoy them and have less fear of their behavior and my reactions to their behavior. I wanted to speak wisely and give them instructions with kindness instead of anger, frustration, or criticism. The description in these verses - dignity, strength, joy, fearlessness, wisdom, and kindness  - exemplify the observable overflow of a patient heart.

Once I figured out what Biblical patience looked like, I needed to figure out how to get there.  At this point, it felt like I had tried everything the parenting experts told me to do. I tried behavior modification techniques so my children would not “trigger” me. I tried self-care and self-shaming. I tried all kinds of hacks that boiled down to manipulation and control of either myself or my child. None of it produced peace or joy in my heart or home. 

What I knew from every other area of my life was this: I needed Jesus. I could not parenting hack my way into more patience and less anger just like I could not work my way into righteousness and out of sinfulness in any other area of my life. Only the completed work of the Savior is sufficient to meet the needs I have in parenting and in life. Once I accepted the gospel - the good news - that Christ’s saving grace is also sanctifying me- working in me and through me to glorify God, I could lay down all of my hacks and start walking towards the only solution to my patience problem: an abiding, consistent relationship with Jesus. 

Fortunately, Scripture gives us guideposts to help us learn how to steward well the gift of motherhood as we journey with Jesus. 

In The Patient Mom Project, we’ll learn how to grow in patience through the ABCDs. 

• A- Abiding in Christ. This is the secret to patient parenting. No parenting tip, trick, or tool will grow the patience, peace, and joy you want for your heart and home. Those come from the overflow of the Holy Spirit working in you through an abiding relationship with Christ. 
• Once we’ve established the foundation for growing the good fruit we want to see in our hearts and homes, we’ll find out how to help those deep roots build a strong core. Next, we will B - build spiritual strength so that when we face the inevitable challenges of motherhood, we can fight the good fight God’s way and not snap under the pressure. 
• After we’ve built spiritual strength, we’re going to C- confront the causes of impatience. Scripture tells us we have an enemy, and he is actively trying to destroy us and our children. We don’t want to be willing participants in his destructive schemes, but when we let anger and impatience reign in our relationships with our children, we do just that. It’s time to confront the common causes of impatience and uncover the ways the enemy is manipulating us into expressing sinful anger and subtly destroying our homes. This step is a hard one because it requires courageous honesty and humility, but we have built spiritual strength for such a time as this. We can go to battle with the enemy because we know Christ is victorious on our behalf- both for eternity and for today.
• Lastly, we need to D- develop gospel-powered responses to replace the impatient, angry relational habits that are so deeply ingrained they feel instinctual. God’s word gives us guideposts to help us learn to steward motherhood for God’s glory and the good of our children. He designed us in such a way that we can optimize our opportunities to be patient, peaceful, and joyful; so we will look at some research-backed insights and practical, but powerful strategies to replace our sinful responses with gospel-powered responses in challenging parenting situations. 

This is The Patient Mom Project. 

It’s a journey, not a quick-fix. It’s an intentional step-by-step process of trusting God to change us from the inside out, of walking moment-by-moment with Jesus and relying on His strength and dignity in us when our instincts are screaming at us to let out our anger and fall back into old relational habits with our children. It’s a day-by-day choice to choose patience - through dignity, strength, joy, wisdom, and kindness - rather than the immediate gratification but long-term detrimental effects sinful expressions of anger and impatience give us. 

We don’t have to rely on our unreliable feelings. We have Scripture to tell us what patience looks like and how to get there so that we can build an unbreakable, influential relationship with our child for God’s glory and our joy. 

This week, you’ll get an overview of The PMP ABCDs (The Patient Mom Project: Abide, Build, Confront, Develop), but this is just the introduction! You’re invited to join moms around the globe on your own patient mom journey. Get The Patient Mom Project 30-day devotional, guided journal, and habit tracker at MomWisdom.org/ThePatientMomProject or on the Mom Wisdom app where you can access bonus content - The PMP audiobook, printables, a private, online community with other moms on the same journey, and more!

Pray & Praise

Father, Thank You for the gift of motherhood. {Your child’s name here}__________ brings me joy beyond description, and they are one of the very best gifts you’ve given me. I praise you for the way you designed {your child’s name here}__________ . I confess that I have sinned in the way I have responded to {him/her} when I am angry. Lord, help me. I need you to grow Your good fruit of patience, peace, and joy in me. May I abide in You. Remind me to spend time with you each day and please help me make room for you in my busy schedule.  Please help me steward motherhood for your glory, the good of my kids, and my joy. Amen.

Dwell

Truth

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Proverbs 31:25-26 (NLT)

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)

“...[t]he righteousness of God through the faithfulness of Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:22-24 (NET)

Mom Mantra

Choose one of the following or create your own. Write and post it somewhere you’ll see it often today.

• I will steward motherhood for the glory of God and the good of my children.
• I am clothed with strength and dignity.
• I will correct my kids with wisdom and kindness.
• ________________________

Journal

What brought you to The Patient Mom Project? Is there a particular circumstance or trigger that often leads to sinful expressions of anger or impatience for you? Debrief one of your recent challenging parenting moments. When a similar situation arises in the future, how do you want to respond differently? If you haven’t already done so, print The PMP Habit Tracker and Logbook (it’s free on MomWisdom.org/ThePatientMomProject !). We manage what we monitor, so this free tool will help you visually see and debrief triggering situations and also help you celebrate the times you tap into gospel-power to respond with patience towards your child.